Using NLP To Handle Criticism
Before we get started, it's important for you to realize that there are two types of criticism. The first of these is constructive criticism which will assist you. You need to distinguish this from negative or bad criticism where the person criticizing is doing it with the intent of putting you down.
The world is full of people that will pass judgment on you. So you need to know how to deal with negative criticism effectively so that you maintain a positive state. People often negatively criticize because they are jealous of what someone has achieved or have.
Negative or destructive criticism is around us all of the time. The media and the newspapers make sure of that. These people are always hiding behind “the public interest” and if you were to ask them directly, they'll tell you that they're just doing their job.
Sometimes destructive criticism is warranted, but most of the time it isn’t. It not only occurs in the media but can happen at your place of work and in social situations. You may face direct negative criticism or indirect criticism by way of an innuendo. Whichever the method of delivery you need to be on your guard.
Negative Criticism Situations
Due to its competitive nature, there will always be competitors in business that will want to criticize you. Unscrupulous competitors are everywhere and they will do everything that they can to try and put you down.
Then there's the workplace. Some of your “colleagues” will want to negatively criticize you because you are seen in a more favorable light than they are. Maybe you just got a new promotion – you will need to watch out because the critics will be lining up to badmouth you and bring you down.
Not all bosses handle criticism well, and you may find yourself unjustly criticized for something that was not your fault. A lot of companies like to go on a “witch hunt” when something goes wrong, and then they need to find a scapegoat that they can lay the blame on.
Probably the hardest form of negative criticism to handle is when it happens in social situations. Many people have family members that will criticize them no matter what they do. This can be particularly demoralizing. In other social situations, friends will try and put you down to impress others – particularly members of the opposite sex. Criticism from a good friend can really be hard to take. When you have known someone for a long time and they suddenly criticize you, it can take you by surprise.
Dealing with Negative Criticism
The secret to dealing with negative criticism is to be flattered! Most people will criticize you unfairly because they're envious of something you have or something you've done.
Be flattered that they are centering their attention and energy on you and continue to walk the moral high road. Just keep doing what you do best and don’t bite. Remember that this criticism is probably borne out of jealousy, so be true to yourself and maintain your normal stance.
If you do find yourself listening to negative criticism, then just brush it off as an opinion that isn’t right. They are entitled to their opinions just as you are, and when you dismiss them as inaccurate, your current state will remain intact.
Think about the Inadequacy of the criticizer
People often are thinking about their own inadequacies when they negatively criticize. It makes them feel better about themselves to hurl negativity towards others. Imagine the inadequacies that these people have, and feel pity for them rather than anger.
You can't control what other people say to you and when they say it. It may be a very unfair criticism, but you need to choose to not let it concern you. You can control the way that you respond to negative criticism, and this will help you maintain a positive state.